The unsolicited e-mails coming my way urging me to boycott BP gas stations are troubling. The matter came home to roost over the July 4th weekend when a friend shared his encounter at a BP station. He thought he was making a show of solidarity — as in, I feel your pain — when he told the attendant, “At least I’m not boycotting you.”

He did not get the reaction for which he hoped as the “attendant” turned out to be a local station owner. He responded with belligerence, making it clear that what he felt was resentment not appreciation.

The BP situation is a mammoth management screw-up that defies comprehension, to be sure. It is in light of this that I understood that owner’s mindset when my friend did not. Even so, my friend is a good guy who shares my feeling that people urging us not to shop at BP gas stations are wrong. I don’t get why those calling for such a boycott don’t see how that heaps more pain on the people who most need our help right now. We’re not talking corporate BP here, but those small, mom-and-pop businesses forced to file claims for funds that will enable them to simply survive as things get sorted out. If we consumers bankrupt BP by withholding our patronage, we punish the wronged people, not the people who perpetrated the wrong.

Let’s not do that. BP is likely to rise from this humongous disaster as a poster child for safety and security concerning oil drilling practices. Today BP executives understand better than anyone that their company simply cannot survive a repeat of the Gulf disaster.

Consider our own industry as an example. Several meat-industry companies that went through the fire when recalls concerning contaminated products hit their businesses found a way to bounce back with innovations that set new standards for safe meat production. They ensured that they never again would fall victim to the kinds of recalls in which their products claimed lives and made consumers sick. Let’s not forget their strides as we never forget their failures.

While we are at it, let’s not forget BP’s failures while at the same time we not penalize entrepreneurs who operate a small gas station under a BP logo. They are victims, not suspects. Government too has a role to play in setting and enforcing safety standards that will apply to all oil producers.

This is how we get through these kinds of situations — the type that surely will happen again somewhere, somehow. Meanwhile, let’s not boycott for the sake of boycotting.